New Shizzle Never Works
by TharaCorleone
Summary: It's all to do with Dobbs and his technology but not a Sakphone nor Sakpad seems to be working. NOTE: This contains pairing headcanon that you may or may not agree with.


"Couldn't you imagine it? Signals whizzing through universes and galaxies and getting actual calls from other planets! I just _know_ it's going to be a success, I can just-"

"Yeah, about that, Dobbs...my dad's not going to go ahead with your little business idea."

Upon hearing those words, the young male's eager-looking face suddenly dropped; suddenly at a loss for words, it took him a few moments before he was able regain his composure and get his words out."

"Wh-why not?"

"You want me to be honest? Because I'll be honest. It sounds _stupid_," was his friend's explanation, suddenly turning his head and face-palming in embarrassment. "I _knew_ it would be a bad idea to let you see E.T with me."

"Don't you think with all the alien species making their way to our planet, Norman, that ease of access regarding communication is _important_?

Norman couldn't help shooting Dobbs a rather frustrated glance.

"I don't think all aliens will be wanting to phone home, idiot."

Dobbs was used to being called a lot of things, and idiot was one of them; but as he pondered over whether Norman had meant it for real, he noticed his friend begin to get up and walk away as if he couldn't wait to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"Away from you," was the short, blunt response; but as Norman carried on walking without even a look in Dobbs' direction, it wasn't the last of things to get off his chest.

"And don't come running in about 30 years time when you've hit rock bottom because I'm not picking you up anymore!"

"Wireless, blue-tooth and connectivity over, and you're not hearing things, _50,000_ light years. Now, who's going to be first to give me their money!"

"Look geezer, I know practising your sales pitch is important but I think you ought to know you're even more annoying than Stella!"

Believing he was hearing things, Dobbs had to double-take a few times before he noticed the smaller male a couple of feet under his nose.

"That's no way to be talking about your girlfriend, Na Boh," he said, raising an eyebrow; he knew perfectly well that he wasn't an expert when it came to the ladies, but he often wondered what Stella saw in the bad-tempered, manipulative midget.

Turning back to his latest piece of work, Dobbs couldn't help twiddling it between his fingers; almost dropping it when he was suddenly spooked by high-pitched shrieking, his face couldn't help dropping aswell when he saw who was pissed off.

"DOBBS, YOUR PIECE OF SHIT PHONE BROKE ON ME _AGAIN_!"

"Talk of the devil," Na Boh muttered, reverting to hiding when both males noticed Stella at the door, fuming and looking ready to kill someone- mainly Dobbs.

"You claim it can do all this and all that and yet it can't make a simple phone call! Call yourself a flippin' revolutionary? You're just a _joke_!"

As she threw the phone onto the floor, Dobbs couldn't help sighing as he immediately bent down to pick it up.

"If you keep treating it like _that_, it won't work at all," he explained, rather sternly. "And I won't give you another one, no matter how "Little Miss Stroppy Diva" you get with me."

Stella's response was to immediately start pulling a pout, but spoilt ways had never seemed to work on the likes of the older Sakrohm males; when she noticed Dobbs had turned his attention back to his latest model, she couldn't help sighing in frustration.

"Fix it for me, Dobbs," she demanded, gently pushing her own phone towards him. When, after a few moments, he had still ignored her, Stella couldn't help sighing again but this time in remorse.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, calmly and sounding genuinely apologetic. "Dobbs, could you please fix my not-crappy phone for me..._please_?"

Still without a single look in her direction, Dobbs gently pulled the phone towards him with nothing but a single nod, which was good enough for Stella. She couldn't help singing to herself as she went to leave; the smile etched on her face soon turning to sheer delight when she noticed the small male hiding under the table.

"NA BOH!" She squealed, scooping him up in her arms and spinning him around, much to his annoyance. "I haven't seen you all day! I missed you, my little mushroom!"

Dobbs couldn't help smirking at the other male's expense as he overheard the nonsense, but his attention was still fixed on mending Stella's phone.

"If I'm to keep you in my sight, I'm never gonna let go!"

"Please let go, you're _suffocating_ me!"

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry, are you ok?" She gabbled, suddenly releasing Na Boh from her grip as she heard him wheezing slightly. Keen to keep in his good books, the blonde's plan was suddenly interrupted when another of the Sakrohm females made herself known on her way through the door; clutching her Sakphone as she approached, Sigma couldn't help sighing as she placed it on the table.

"Dobbs, I was playing Raging Avians-"

"Angry Birds."

"Angry Birds, sorry. Well I was loading up level 4 and the screen suddenly blanked out on me. Is there any chance you may be able to fix it? That's if it's not too much trouble, of course."

"You could learn a thing or two about manners from her, Stella," he commented, nodding as he was still tinkering with the female's phone.

"No thanks, I'd rather not have sex with the oldest guy in Clint City."

"Thomson's only five years older than me," Sigma retorted, trailing off into a rather murderous expression when she realised what the blonde had just implied. "Oh you _BITCH_!"

"Oh take me to bed, Mr Emperor, take me to bed!" Stella mocked, almost sounding a little in ecstasy but deadly accurate in terms of impersonating her fellow Sakrohm. "You're such a stupid whore. He doesn't want you. Surely the fact he told his soldiers to kill you on sight is enough to tell you that?"

"Just shut it before I make you shut it, you sell-out cow!"

It was the sudden sound of shrill tones that were enough to shock Stella and Sigma out of ripping each other's throats out, though it was Na Boh who picked up the ringing receiver.

"Hello, Sakrohm HQ, don't leave a message and get the hell off the phone...oh...OH...yes, he's here."

The littlest Sakrohm suddenly held the receiver out to Dobbs, who gently prised it from his fellow clan mate's grasp.

"It's for you."

"Hello?"

"It's me, you idiot," was the rather blunt reply.

"Norman! It's been years, how-"

"I haven't got time for this nonsense, Dobbs. I'm only talking to you because, well, I hate to say this, but I need help and you're the only person who can help me."

"Come running back, have we?" the Sakrohm asked, remembering those words from his childhood; but whereas Norman would have said it with a rather strong sense of malice, Dobbs couldn't help chuckling slightly.

"You'll find it's _you_ who shall come running back. Running back to the Red Motel to fix your piece of shit Sakpad!"

"You bought a Sakpad?"

Dobbs couldn't help feeling touched at the fact that despite all that had been said and done all those years ago, the motel manager had actually given his vision a chance; but when he heard what Norman had to say next, delight soon turned to evident disappointment.

"No, it's Cortez's, but for some reason he thinks _I_ should do something about it."

"Is it the 2.71 model?"

"I haven't got time to be messing around with pointless numbers," Norman muttered, almost snarling. "Is it these foreign-looking digits on the back panel? There is no way are those actual _numbers_...is that last one supposed to be a 1? Looks like a child's meaningless scribble."

"That's right. Now, you need to unlock the battery compartment, but don't take it off. Just unlock it, restart the Sakpad and then lock the battery compartment and run the .exe mainframe. Don't worry, I know exactly what's happened. It's been quite a common problem, but with that combination it shouldn't..." Dobbs explained, trailing off when he realised he was talking to a dial tone. Had it been someone else, he may have considered it rude, but Norman had a motel to run so Dobbs wasn't about to hold grudges against him for not saying two simple words.

As he turned his attention back to the broken Sakphones, he noticed that not only had Na Boh slinked off but that the two females had seriously launched into a proper, physical catfight. Luckily for Dobbs, he'd learnt to just cope with Stella and Sigma's arguments, but he was still yet to master the art of blocking their nonsense from his senses.

"AUTO-TUNING BITCH!"

"TIME-STALKING WHORE!"

As always, it was going to be another long day. Dobbs loved his creations as if they were his children, but he still longed for the day where everything would just _work_.


End file.
